I bought a jacket. Then things got out of hand…
Where to begin?
First, credit where it’s due: the men’s and ladies’ Urban Parkas arrived quickly.
No drama. No three-week wait. No mysterious tracking status saying “your parcel is currently enjoying a cultural experience somewhere in Limpopo.”
And, most importantly, all the buttons were still attached…strange to notice that but I did order another brand where upon arrival, missing buttons…
We put them on and headed off to a winter wedding in the Western Cape.
Because nothing tests a new jacket quite like standing outside at a wedding while the Cape decides that sunshine is overrated.
It rained.
Not biblical, end-of-the-world rain. Just that miserable Western Cape winter rain that somehow gets into places you didn’t know had openings.
Now, the Urban Parka isn’t a rain jacket, so I wasn’t expecting it to start behaving like a submarine. But it handled the rain surprisingly well, and more importantly, it stopped that Western Cape wind from cutting straight through you.
So far, so good.
Then I made the mistake of thinking:
“I wonder how cold this thing can actually handle?”
And that’s how a perfectly normal jacket review became an unnecessary field trial.
Next thing, I’m climbing onto a plane and heading into a Gauteng winter.
Then came approximately -4°C.
So obviously, the scientifically rigorous thing to do was sit outside wearing a T-shirt and thermal shirt underneath the parka waiting for some “boeretroos”.
And?
Warm.
No wind chill.
No shivering.
No standing around doing that stupid little “I’m not cold” dance while your teeth are trying to escape your mouth.
At this stage, the jacket was beginning to irritate me.
I bought it on whim, not expecting much after my previous parka disaster and at this stage its asking:
“Is that all you’ve got?”
Now we’re off to Mpumalanga.
More cold.
More winter.
The Urban Parka has now had:
1: Western Cape winter rain
2: Cape wind
3: -4°C Gauteng temperatures
4: Air travel
5: General winter wandering around
🇿🇦 Enough provincial travel to qualify for its own e-toll account
And it keeps doing the same irritating thing:
It keeps keeping me warm.
The jacket has eight outer pockets, a high collar, storm flap, detachable hood and enough insulation to make you question whether you’ve accidentally put on a wearable duvet (ps, dumping all your stuff into the pockets and just taking off the jacket at the metal detector at the airport helped not being felt up by security).
It’s designed for cold-weather work and hunting, but still looks sufficiently urban that you don’t immediately appear to be on your way to hunt a kudu behind the Woolies.
And that, so far, is probably the biggest compliment I can give it.
A good winter jacket should become boring.
You put it on and stop thinking about the cold.
You don’t spend the day adjusting it, layering another jacket over it, or wondering whether your privates are going to fall off.
You just get on with your day.
The jacket survived the wedding.
It survived the Cape rain.
It survived Gauteng.
It survived -4°C.
And now it’s going to Mpumalanga.
At this rate, I’m no longer reviewing the jacket in this writeup.
I’m conducting a South African winter endurance programme as we have no power and it is -2 IN THE HOUSE!
And frankly, the jacket is starting to piss me off.
Because I’m running out of weather and now will most likely need to buy for the kids as well.
Boerboel Wear Urban Parka: 1
My ability to find conditions unpleasant enough to defeat it: 0
Ps. The three Boerboele on the Jacket have been named: Boerie, Hansie and Frikkadel
